


For Now

by Welsper



Category: Final Fantasy XII
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21871078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Welsper/pseuds/Welsper
Summary: There are words Vaan never had the chance to tell Balthier.When he and Penelo catch a rumor of sky pirates in the area, he lets himself hope that maybe it is not too late after all.
Relationships: Balthier/Vaan
Comments: 10
Kudos: 34
Collections: Happy Belated Treatmas 2019





	For Now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cricket_aria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cricket_aria/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [cricket_aria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cricket_aria/pseuds/cricket_aria) in the [happy_belated_treatmas_2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/happy_belated_treatmas_2019) collection. 



“A hume and a Viera together? You sure you’re not mistaking this for the circus, boy?”

“Look, I know they’re here!”

Vaan put his hands on the rough wooden surface of the desk, leaning forward and trying his best to look like someone you would want to give information to or else. From the look on the innkeeper's face, it was not going very well.

“You know more than me then, boy. Why don’t you and the little lass go on and play outside now, will you?”

The innkeeper turned back to his book and Vaan let out a frustrated sigh. Penelo twirled on the balls of her feet and shot him a tired, but compassionate look. She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently.

“We’ll find them soon,” she said, but Vaan knew her better than anyone. Penelo always tried to sound happy, even if she was not. And right now, she was gutted, the same as him.

“His name is Balthier.”

That got him a laugh from the innkeeper. So he did know him! He knew their info had been right. Those two were hardly an everyday sight. If they had passed by, people would have taken notice.

“What, he break your heart, boy? You’re here to win back a sky pirate? They don’t stay, nobody can make them and if you chased them around the world. Best take up another hobby, boy. There’s hunts on the board, if you’re looking for distraction.”

“Come on, Vaan… let’s go,” Penelo said, averting her gaze. She bit her lower lip. Vaan wanted to see them again, so badly. He wanted to see him. And he didn’t want Penelo to look up anymore in hope, searching around for the calm voice of someone telling her she did well tracking the skystones.

“Your name’s Vaan?”

“Yeah.”

“Honestly, why didn’t you… oi, Freya! Wake our sleeping beauties for us, will you?” The innkeeper shouted up the stairs and a little girl with frizzy hair poked her head over the railing and nodded.

“They’re here?!”

The innkeeper laughed again at the grin on their faces and nodded.

“Ah, from the look on you, at least it won’t get me any trouble, don’t need that here. He’s been in his cups lately, complain about some Vaan and others when he has it bad. That you, then?”

Vaan nodded, practically bouncing.

“You kids look like you know your white magic. Those two pay well, but this ain’t a hospital and I don’t need sky pirates in here camping out, what with the Empire ramping up their efforts.”

Vaan grinned to himself, knowing full well that the Empire would probably not give Fran and Balthier that much trouble. It paid to have friends in high places.

“Get them out of my hair and I’ve got a crate of Motes in the back you can have.”

“They’re injured?”

Vaan’s grin turned into a frown and even Penelo had a dark look on her face.

“Do you think that’s why they never returned?” Vaan asked her and Penelo took his arm, as if she had to steady herself.

“We shouldn’t have let them go,” she said, even though Vaan knew she didn’t mean it. It had been the only way. Letting two airships collide over Rabanastre would only have lead to a greater catastrophe than the Bahamut itself was going to be. But still… Vaan dreaded the state those two would be in.

She was out of her usual armor, clad in a simple black dress that hung off her form nearly shapeless, down to her ankles. It was strange, to see her like that, to see any Viera like that. They dressed freely, nothing restricting their limbs to fight as they did. Bandages were visible from where the dress didn’t reach. But she looked well enough and Vaan sighed in relief. Viera were strong, but surely it wouldn’t be so bad with Balthier if Fran could walk around, right?

“Fran!” Penelo practically bolted forwards and threw herself into Fran’s arms, who caught her easily and spun her around to temper the momentum.

“Did you come looking for us?” Fran asked, and Vaan wasn’t sure if her tone was scolding or warm – perhaps a little bit of both. She didn’t let go of Penelo, one hand on the small of her back.

“We couldn’t just leave you out there! You saved Rabanastre and we… we just had to...”

“You should not have. It is dangerous for young sky pirates to be so far out,” Fran said. Penelo sniffed and Fran stroked her head gently.

“How’s Balthier? Is he with you?” Fran didn’t meet his eyes.

“He would not… he would not you see him like this,” she began and Vaan stepped forward. Two pairs of eyes were looking up at Fran pleadingly. She sighed.

“But I want to see him! I have to say thank you! And, I, uh… the Strahl misses him too! He should say hello at least! Just leaving her there is mean!”

Vaan liked the Strahl, he really did. He loved flying her and going on adventures with Penelo. But deep down, he knew she wasn’t his and that someone else should be with her. That wasn’t the only reason he wanted to see Balthier again, though. He wanted an explanation for that dread in his stomach he had felt when he had first heart Balthier’s voice over the comms, that anxiety he felt as he looked for them with Penelo. He missed Fran too, but it wasn’t the same. Well, maybe it was for Penelo.

Vaan was young, but not so young he didn’t know what that was. He wanted to see Balthier again. He wanted to tell him. And if all it got him was a stupid joke. After the Bahamut went down, Vaan thought he would never have a chance to do that again. But now that everyone was working on keeping the peace in Ivalice, and Balthier was _here_ , shouldn’t he use that moment? 

“Come with me,” Fran said, and they followed her up the stairs. Penelo kept a hand on Fran’s arm. There was a certain sluggishness in Fran’s movements Vaan had never seen before, in any Viera. They were always grace and beauty and danger, never vulnerable like that.

The chipped wooden door to the room Fran led them to opened with a creak and Vaan’s stomach dropped when he stepped inside. His eyes were drawn to the spartan bed in it.

Balthier looked a lot worse than Fran.

He looked awful in fact, covered in bruises and cuts that looked barely healed even though it had been many months since the Bahamut’s fall. That strength and vigor Balthier had always displayed seemed sapped from him, and all that remained was a frail, weak man. They should have never let them go! It wasn’t fair.

“Fran?” Balthier muttered and she put a soothing hand on his right shoulder. It was covered in thick gauze – it didn’t even look as if he could move this arm. 

“I’m here,” she said and nodded over to Penelo and Vaan. “And so are they.”

“The young sky pirates,” Balthier said and immediately a coughing fit erupted from his throat, shaking his weakened body. Penelo cast Cura and it did little for the wounds were too long festering, but it did look like it soothed the pain a little. Balthier stopped shaking. 

“How have you been? Better than us, I would hope. To be young again… The leading man is on an intermission right now.”

Vaan balled his hands into fists.

“Stop joking around!”

“Ah, but I fear there is little else I can do right now,” Balthier said, gesticulating towards his body. “So leave me the one thing the Bahamut didn’t take with her. She was still spitting bile when we left her. I trust it she did no further damage?”

“She never moved again,” Vaan said while shaking his head.

“Thanks to you,” Penelo said with a warm smile.

“Yeah. Thank you,” Vaan added quietly. “If you hadn’t… Rabanastre would have...”

“Without you too,” Balthier said and Vaan felt his heart jump at the little smile the man showed him. “Think nothing of it. I would not have come that far and seen you become such fine young people only to lose it all in the last moment.”

“But you could have died!”

“Better us than the thousands of people that would have perished in the war to come. Do you think people would have simply accepted Rabanastre being wiped out even if Archadia is under new management? We’d be baring steel at each other even now.”

“It wouldn’t be better to me,” Vaan said and he knew it was childish, but he could not help it. Balthier’s gaze softened and he nodded at Fran.

“Come, Penelo. Why don’t you tell me how the Strahl is,” she said gently and Penelo perked up and nodded. She smiled at Vaan before she left with the Viera.

“Ah, yes. Do tell me how the ship is. You didn’t scratch her up, I hope?”

“Stop changing the topic! I could repair the Strahl! But look at you!”

“To be a man is to make choices, Vaan. And to live with them. I could have ran, sure, as I always have, but then what?”

Balthier sat up with some difficulty and Vaan kept a hand on his back to help him. He reached out and placed the hand that didn’t hang limp off his side on Vaan’s cheek. The skin felt scorching hot from the fever plaguing his body.

“Leave your home to burn? This… thing… it was still my father’s and so my responsibility.”

“It’s not!”

“I ran from him, Vaan. Perhaps had I not, I could have prevented this.”

A thumb gently stroked Vaan’s skin, flicking a lock of hair past his ear. Vaan’s breath caught at that and there was a hint of a smile on Balthier’s face. Maybe he was being mocked, but Vaan could not help but lean into the gentle caress. He had missed those touches. With as small as the Strahl was, it was inevitable, but Balthier had been so comfortable with touching him. Perhaps it was simply how he was, with everyone, but Vaan had always enjoyed the attention. An arm around his shoulder, a hand on his back gently pushing him forward, or Balthier helping him down a pile of rubble as they wandered Ivalice’s abandoned and destroyed dungeons.

It was part of why he had so hopelessly fallen for Balthier.

“It’s not what your life should have been like,” Balthier sighed.

“I don’t blame you. And it’s done now. I’m not some child you need to feel responsible for.”

Balthier laughed again and Vaan patted his back as he went over to coughing again. Not accepting any protest, Vaan eased him back onto the mattress.

“Let me help you too,” Vaan said and reached over towards the wobbly nightstand, packed with bandages and remedies.

“Honestly, that’s so badly done,” he muttered to himself as he unwrapped Balthier’s arm and shoulder.

“Viera are not very nurturing people,” Balthier said as Vaan set the used bandages aside and cleaned his wounds. “And she was never any good at white magic.”

“Well, good thing I am here now.”

Another gentle wave of Cura passed over Balthier’s form. Vaan wasn’t as practiced at it as Penelo was, but Balthier sighed in relief anyway. Vaan gently washed away dried blood and applied fresh bandages.

“I’m staying with you until that is better. You’re coming back with us to Rabanastre. It’s a lot nicer now that Basch and Larsa took the Judges away.”

“And leave the Strahl to rust in the hangar then?”

“She’s got Fran and Penelo now too, doesn’t she?”

“Fran’s barely hobbling around.”

“She looks a lot better than you do!”

“’tis the duty of the leading man, nobly sacrificing himself to -”

A pillow was pressed on Balthier’s face, muffling his laughter as Vaan rolled his eyes.

“Will you shut up about that already? You don’t always have to pretend! And laugh everything away! This is serious.”

Still, Vaan could not suppress the grin on his face. Balthier had a way of making everything feel lighter. A way of dancing through life and hardship with confidence and boldness that Vaan hoped he might one day have.

“If you want the Strahl back, you’re going to get better first. I’m not letting someone fly her who can’t even steer!”

Balthier pulled the pillow from his face.

“Oh, getting possessive?”

Vaan felt a blush creep on his face from those words.

“Well, you left her in my care! And,” he poked Balthier in the chest, “since you’re in no shape to protest, you’re too now. Take it as thanks. For Rabanastre.”

Balthier opened his mouth and Vaan put a finger to his lips.

“Just don’t, okay? You’re not going to send me away, don’t even try.”

Balthier sighed but Vaan could see the smile on his face.

“I always was weak to a pretty face,” he said and ducked his head slightly when Vaan raised the pillow.

“Idiot,” Vaan mumbled.

“Vaan?” Penelo peaked her head into the doorway. “Fran and I are starting up the Strahl. Do you need help with him?”

“All I can get,” Vaan replied with a grin. Penelo laughed and Balthier pulled a face. “We’ll be there soon.”

“We’re leaving now?”

“That innkeeper is not going to keep the Judges from you soon if you don’t leave now.”

“Did he tell you that? Why, I thought he was enjoying our company! I am hurt.”

“Not in those words, but that’s what he meant. You’re getting him in trouble and people look out for themselves and theirs first. Come on, let’s try to get you out of that bed.”

It took all of Vaan’s mana and most of his potions to get Balthier’s hurt – broken – body to the Strahl. Even after all their fights back in those days, Vaan had never quite seen him done in so badly. The hurt was too grave and had been left to fester for too long. Vaan would make it right, he swore to himself.

Balthier perked up a little when the Strahl came into their view.

“Missed you,” he muttered.

Vaan almost flinched when Balthier hissed in pain when he lowered him into the bed in the backroom of the airship. Balthier gave him a weak smile and reached out for his arm.

“Don’t worry. No one’s died here in a while, right? I am not going to break a winning streak now.”

Idiot. It wasn’t him who should be trying to comfort anyone.

“Do not pity him so,” Fran said, a hand on Vaan’s shoulder. “He likes to put on a show. It is not so bad with him, truly.” But they both knew that was a lie. Fran hadn’t even wanted to let them see him. Still, if Fran and Balthier could joke around still, maybe everything was going to be alright?

“The fuel is flowing, and the glossair engines are turning in full! We’re ready to go!” Penelo shouted from the bridge. Vaan got up, but Fran stayed him.

“Keep him company?” She asked and Vaan nodded.

Vaan could feel the gentle hum of the Strahl’s engines working their magic as the ship lifted off.

“That feels better,” Balthier said. “Was beginning to feel trapped down -”

The Strahl shook as a blast hit her side.

“What now?”

“Judges!” Fran shouted and swerved the ship around, out of harms way.

“Damn, they must have picked up the emission from our skystone!”

“Don’t make me come over there!” Balthier shouted towards the bridge when the Strahl bucked and shook as she tried to avoid the blasts from the pursuing airships.

“You can’t even walk two steps alone! Now stay down,” Vaan said and kept a hand on Balthier’s chest. Balthier cried out as the Strahl shook again. The vibrations hurt his battered body more than they did the ship.

“Wait here, and don’t move!”

Vaan said and moved to the bridge. Fran moved to the co-pilot’s seat and Penelo ran back to the backroom. White magic already poured from her fingertips. He couldn’t heal Balthier as well as she maybe could. But he could fly the Strahl. Balthier trusted him with her and he wouldn’t let him down.

“Come on, girl”, Vaan muttered and jerked the steering forward. It was a bit rough, but the Strahl would understand. She’d help save her real captain too. The glossair rings were burning brightly as Vaan flew her, faster than he had ever before. The bigger, slower airships of the Empire couldn’t keep up and they soon lost them. With a sigh, Vaan leaned back into the seat and rested his eyes for a moment.

“Are you alright back there?” He shouted and Penelo gave him a thumbs-up through the door.

“We’ll be fine! Ah, I cast Sleep on Balthier, but I think he looked really proud! Well, until he sees the scratches on her I guess, but it’s not like he can do much more than yell right now.”

“Let him do that,” Fran said and there was a rare smile on her face. “If he has the strength for that, he has the strength to heal.”

“How far until Rabanastre?”

Penelo hung over Fran’s shoulder now and studied the radar.

“Should take us until evening with the crystals.”

* * *

It was almost dark in Rabanastre by the time they arrived. Vaan could only truly relax when he saw Balthier resting in his bed in the little house he lived in with Penelo now. They didn’t have to live in the underground anymore, with the coin they found on their adventures. Ashe’s new policies helped too, she wouldn’t let her people suffer like that anymore. They weren’t here much, between flying the Strahl here and there, looking for treasure but mostly, Fran and Balthier.

“Made a nice little life for yourself, didn’t you?” Balthier asked, voice quiet and frail when he awoke. Vaan handed him a glass of water, and bit his lip when he saw Balthier’s hand shake as he drank it.

“It’s better than before. It’s not an airship though. I guess you’ll take the Strahl back when you’re better?”

“Oh, you best believe it, young sky pirate. Trust me, there is little more joy than _acquiring_ your first own airship, but you will not be taking mine.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

They sat in silence as night fell and the moon rose. It shone through the open window and bathed them both in its light. It was so quiet now. No imperial airships with their loud engines blasting in the sky, no Judges yelling. No explosions from the Pailing being bombard. No screaming.

All that reminded Vaan of that day now laid dozing in his bed. Vaan was glad Balthier was not just a memory now.

“Balthier?”

“Hm?”

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

“You didn’t crash the Strahl when you landed, did you?”

Balthier narrowed his eyes at him.

“What? No! This is serious!”

“The Strahl is serious.”

“Well, this is too! So. Just listen. You don’t have to say anything! And I’m not gonna make it weird or anything! I just want you to know. I wanted to tell you a while ago, but there was never a good time and everything was always blowing up and with all the…”

“Spit it out.”

“I love you.”

It was silent again.

“Come down here for a moment,” Balthier said and patted the space on the mattress next to him. Vaan could feel his heart beat so hard against his chest he thought it was going to break out and explode, like a faulty glossair ring out of formation.

He laid down next to Balthier and waited.

“Hold on,” Balthier muttered and turned to his side with some effort. Vaan wanted to stop him but Balthier raised a hand.

And then Balthier leaned forward and kissed him. It was hardly the passionate claiming the sky pirates in the novels did, among explosions and fights in the background and shirts hanging open in the wind exposing glistening chests. Well, Vaan could see Balthier’s chest, but the bruises and bandages hardly stirred any heat in him. But a comfortable warmth spread in him, one he knew might be with him even in the coldest of desert nights.

“Ah, maybe you were expecting something else. I’m afraid this is as good as it gets right now.”

Vaan shook his head and reached for one of Balthier’s hands and held it carefully.

“No. No, this is perfect.”

Balthier smiled.

And kissed him again.


End file.
